Sunday, February 25, 2007

Oh Blockbuster, you sucked. I go in to rent some movies. I rent Little Miss Sunshine. I asked the little teenage girl when Half Nelson comes back in. I have asked about when movies come back in before. They check their little computer and tell me, "Oh, one is coming in tommorow. Try tommorow." But this girl is all, "Um, well, I can't really check cause there are no more late fees." Okay, that wasn't really the question. "So you can't even check to see when one is due, I'll just come back and check?"

"Well, I can't give you like a time of no. And you don't have rewards (which, by the way, she never asked me about. Maybe I do. I don't. But she didn't know), so you can't reserve it anyway."

I'm standing there, speechless because of how dense this girl is. Just check the computer, or check the pile videos that just came in, you gnat. I don't need a time of day!! So I give her my card to rent Little Miss Sunshine. And she randomly says "try Tuesday, cause that's when like, the new movies come out." and I elaborate what she just said :" So people return movies to get new ones..." "Umm....yeah. Do you want to like, renew your rewards for like $7.99..." she says, kind of spacey. Okay, I think we already established that I don't have rewards, thus I can't renew them. So no. And then my video cost me $6.03. For one video. So whatever, Blockbuster.

Little Miss Sunshine kicked ass for about half it's run. And then two of the things that made it awesome ended. One was that the older son Dwayne, who had taken a vow of silence until he got into the air force, started talking. As Steve Carell's Frank (the suicidal, gay, Proust scholar) says "Who is that? Nietzsche? So you stopped talking because of Friedrich Nietzsche? Far out." Yes, yes it was far out. Dwayne's vow had lasted for 9 months and he wrote all his communications on a little notepad for people to read. And Carell pronounces it "Neat-cha", very precisely. Which I enjoyed.

They other thing they did was they(spoiler) killed off Grandpa (end spoiler). He kicked ass. He tells the silent Dwayne in the back of the yellow VW bus, "Fuck a lotta women, kid, I have no reason to lie to you. Not just one, a lotta women." He yells at dinner, "Every night it's the fucking chicken! Holy God Almighty! Is it possible just once we could get something to eat for dinner that isn't the goddamn fucking chicken?" He snorts heroin, got kicked out of a nursing home he loved (where the women outnumber the men 4:1) and teaches his granddaughter stripper moves for her pageant talent. "I can say what I want... I still got Nazi bullets in my ass!" He was totally raging against the dying of the light. And then they kill him off. He dies. I kept hoping he had faked his own death and had run away. But no. Actually dead.

The little girl, with her big glasses and pot belly, and how she kinda vibrates back and forth before unleashing her famous scream, is really cute too.

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