I remember once being in the rag section of a bookstore and I saw on the cover of one of those "cosmo for men" mags (stuff, fhm, or maxim) a picture of a curly haired, blessed-with-hips girl baring her belly. I did a double take because I wasn't sure if it was Beyonce or if it was Shakira. I always kinda thought they looked alike and sure enough, someone else agreed. Their new (very catchy but also kinda cheesy) song and video for the remix of Beyonce's "Beautiful Liar" features quick cuts between the two, and sometimes it's hard to tell the difference. Shakira (whose hips never lie. Ever.) has got the tighter moves. There is a smoke machine, writhing on the floor and wind through panels of fabric. There is also a rain machine. So the girls get wet. There are also neon purple lights on the floor. I think the budget was a $1.99. Cheesy, but hypnotically so.

There are always rumours going around about how Madonna hates Gwen Stefani for stealing her schtick. Her schtick being platinum bottle blonde Italian-American with English husband and ugly/crazy/cool fashion sense. Maybe this is true and maybe it isn't. Gwen's new album is kinda silly (okay, very silly). I hated the first single "Wind It Up" when I first heard it. Like, did she seriously sample that goat herder song from The Sound of Music? Is she really yodelling? But it grew on me. Her new single "The Sweet Escape", the album's title track, is similarily stupid yet catchy. It might also be the sonic stepsister to Madonna's "True Blue". Something else for Ms Cicone to hate Ms Stefani over.

Yodellay, yodallay, yodal-low

"I been tryin' to enjoy all the fruits of my labor

I been cryin' for you boy but truth is my savior"

Lucinda Williams has such a beautiful, sad and sexy voice. And her songs make me think of cowboys, beer in brown bottles, cigarettes and women in jeans. Slowly driving in a pickup truck, in the evening. And road dust.

Baby, sweet baby if it's all the same

Take the glory and day over the fame

I kind of love Ludacris, mostly because he cracks me up. In the past, most of his tracks have been about women and what he wants to do to them, mostly in a club. I read somewhere that his new album "Release Therapy" tackles more serious topics, like Hurricane Katrina. But so far, the few tracks I've heard are about Luda and his dick (or Lil' Luda, as I've decided to call it). And that's fine, because he cracks me up. And the beats are good. So rock on, Lil' Luda.


"A little sweatin' never hurt nobody"
Beyonce was born exactly eight days before me (her b-day 9/4/81. mine 9/12/81). So for whatever reason, I feel kinda close to her. Maybe it's cause she's another Virgo. In interviews, she seems like a very quiet, Southern girl. But when she performs, she's all growl and hair tossing and shiny legs and glitter. She becomes Hurrican Beyonce. She's a bit scary.